Getting to know: Patrick Agyemang

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Patrick Agyemang is a 32-year-old footballer who gives Portsmouth fans the honour of seeing him play week-in, week-out as a powerhouse of a front-man.

These are facts.

But there are some things you don’t know about the forward. 20 incredible things.

1 – Agyemang was born 14st 6lbs, of pure muscle.

2 – Agyemang doesn’t go to the dentist, the dentist comes to him.

3 – Sir Patrick Stewart was named after the assumption Agyemang would one day be born.

4 – For 35 minutes each day, Agyemang oils his magnificent pectorials thoroughly.

5 – Agyemang showers alone, for fears of embarrassing his team-mates.

6 – Agyemang’s perfect facial hair is groomed every three hours.

7 – Sinitta’s 1985 smash hit ‘So Macho’ was written about Agyemang.

8 – It’s club rules for every squad player to have a framed picture of Agyemang next to their bed, which they must kiss nightly before bed.

9 – Agyemang can turn his head 360 degrees.

10 – Agyemang was Keyser Soze.

11 – Agyemang can bench press the entire academy squad and their micro scooters.

12 – Agyemang has never paid for a drink in his life.

13 – Agyemang created the phrase, “where’s the party at?”

14 – Jay Z dropped the hyphen from his name because Agyemang told him to.

15 – The film ‘Project X’ was based on Agyemang’s 13th birthday party.

16 – Agyemang can crack a hard boiled egg by breathing on it.

17 – In his spare time, Agyemang solves crime in an abandoned bus.

18 – The iPod was Agyemang’s idea.

19 – Agyemang has 207 bones in his body.

20 – Agyemang enjoys the music of Brian McFadden.

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