TT Top 10: The most appalling player faces in football game history

Mark Scott

FIFA and Pro Evo: The bad and the ugly

With the latest editions of both FIFA 17 and Pro Evolution Soccer 2017 now released, we take a look at some of the worst/best player likenesses from over the years.

Every year we hear how the latest football game is the “most realistic yet” but there is plenty of evidence out there that suggests this has been far from the case. Time to pick out a few complete and utter hatchet jobs!

Kyle Walker

Kyle Walker

Once you get over the initial shock, the most surprising element of this transformation is that this is just two years old! We have a sneaky suspicion that developers on PES 2014 may have been a bit up pushed for time and, as a result, Kyle Walker has morphed into a Andres Iniesta lookalike who has sold his soul for better passing stats.

Michu

Michu.Fifa.14

As bad as this is, you do have to applaud FIFA creators for essentially predicting Michu’s decline at Swansea. After failing to rediscover the form in his wonderful first season with the Swans, this is probably not too far away from what he looked like when he was shipped out on loan to Napoli.

Kolo Toure

Kolo Toure

From memes to unintentionally hilarious Twitter posts, Kolo Toure has become the source of many people’s amusement in the twilight stages of his career. However, even he does not deserve this injustice. At least get his hair right! The offices working on PES 2014 must have had a ton of work placements in to help keep costs down.

Rafael

Rafael

Rafael gave Manchester United fans plenty of nightmares playing at right-back but none can surely be as bad as this one. His pace stats on PES must have taken a real pasting with having to carry such an enormous weight around. This would make for a good voodoo doll, though.

Franck Ribery

Franck Ribery

The job nobody in the gaming industry wants: trying to make Franck Ribery not look like a gruesome monster who lives under people’s beds. We’re not sure even the best dentists in the world can mend those broken piano keys, sorry, teeth.

David Beckham

David Beckham

Cherish this moment that you found out that you are more attractive than David Beckham. Obviously in 1998 we were hardly at the cutting edge of computer graphics, but its inclusion is to show just how far we’ve come since the good, old days.

Regardless of what the players looked like, FIFA Road to World Cup ’98 will always have a special place in our hearts. We’re getting all misty-eyed quicker than you can say indoor stadiums.

Roberto Firmino

Roberto Firmino

Just look at the disappointment on that face. We suspect Roberto Firmino’s actual face had a similar expression as he unwrapped his copy of FIFA 16 last year. It just goes to show that no matter how much technology advances, there is still a long way to go for us to get the attention to detail we all crave.

Hal Robson-Kanu

Hal Robson-Kanu

Is there nobody out there interested in Hal Robson-Kanu at all? Even after his heroics at Euro 2016, it turns out Tony Pulis didn’t actually want to the sign the Welshman and he obviously wasn’t worth the time or effort in Pro Evolution 2015 either! He looks like ‘generic bad guy #3’ in a tacky Hollywood movie.

Lucas Leiva

Lucas

Yes, we thought this was Fernando Torres, too. A light bulb most certainly went off in someone’s head as they tried to knock off early for the day. Unfortunately this is what happens when the only similarity they have is just blonde hair.

Javier Mascherano

Javier Mascherano

Javier Mascherano wishes he looks this good. You could have given us a million guesses and we still wouldn’t have correctly identified this player. Hopefully the days of wild inaccuracies are behind us this year…but we won’t hold our breath.