And so it was that from an armchair in front of a television thousands of miles to the East and far from the action came The Word and The Word was good. The Word was hope. Our very own agony aunt (and uncle too it seems).
And I have read The Word and I am engrossed in the message; already I can only remember less than 100 of the misplaced passes from my last first hand experience and the missed tackles, lack of energy and enthusiasm and skills are all simply a blur as I now focus on The Future instead. I am surely an apostle of The Word although as yet my wife remains unconvinced about the extent of my conversion and refuses to share the vision.
Soon I shall return to the East Stand to watch The Blues taking the message of The Word with me to share with those around me in the stands and I am sure that once they are aware of The Future as I now am we shall simply smile knowingly as our passes go astray and our opponents thrive. I just hope that we do not burst into spontaneous laughter which might be misconstrued by those unfortunates unaware of The Future but perhaps in time with the aid of a few pamphlets we shall be able to spread The Word through the entire East Stand thus relieving all the emotion and angst we have been feeling so often this season and resembling something more like the Halfords where the already dead or otherwise comatose of our numbers reside. I can but dream.
I thank you from the heart of my bottom ( I think that’s right?) for sharing The Word with me but I’m sure that I shall need further help to avoid regressing to my former state before the season is over. I have no doubt that it will be available.